What causes fear of being alone?

Men and women feel lonely or fear being alone for many different reasons. Loneliness is a very natural and common response to divorce or the breakup of any relationship. It’s then about the loss of a particular person, as well as the loss of associated activities and events. It’s also a natural response to things like the death or absence of a loved one, the birth of a child, and a major life event. more importantly, loneliness is common in long term relationships where there is some degree of anger or resentment or where there is little intimate communication.

And an intense fear of being alone can also be the product of many different stimuli and situations. If you were physically abandoned, or emotionally abandoned, or even if you just felt that you were, as a child, you may associate being alone with being unloved or neglected. And if, perhaps as a result of this, you lack of self-confidence, you may believe that nothing can be enjoyed or even attempted without a companion. 

Or perhaps you just never discovered you could be comfortable when you are on your own. But this can be changed, because what has been learned can always be unlearned or, more accurately, altered.  You can learn how to be alone and yet not be lonely, which will mean you can choose freely whether to be with other people or not without feeling anxious. To overcome your fear of being alone is not difficult, and the rewards are immense. You will be much more independent and confident; if you’re alone you’ll be able to think calmly and enjoy a peace and quiet which can make time spent with others even more enjoyable.  being alone is nto the same as being lonely!

Treatment of Fear Of Being Alone

Instead of seeing loneliness or fear of being alone as something unchangeable, or as an aspect of personality which cannot be changed, you can start by deciding what you wish to replace it! And remember that the fear of being alone is a common experience: apparently 25% of all adults experience painful loneliness once every few weeks, and adolescents and college students find it even more of a problem. Yet loneliness is not permanent, and it’s not in itself ”bad”: it is really a signal of which of your needs that are going unmet.

So that’s the next step – find out what you are missing, what your fear of being alone means, and make a plan to put something in place to help you feel more confident. Of course, dealing with the anxiety, or fear if you prefer, associated with your fear of being alone is very important. Traditional therapy may be helpful, but can be long lasting and somewhat tedious. Newer alternatives include NLP and Time Line Therapy, which can produce fast results and long lasting changes.

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