If you want to establish a better relationship, then it’s worthwhile investing in some of the techniques that can give you the information you might currently be lacking.

You see, establishing a better relationship isn’t just about knowing how to be a human being (you know that already!) – it’s about having specific skills of listening, communication, intimacy, interaction, empathy, non-verbal communication, and indeed a whole lot more.

These are the tools that allow people to get along together in a relationship satisfactorily – or even better than “satisfactorily”, perhaps allow people to get along in a relationship enjoying each other’s company and not judging each other or projecting stuff onto each other in a way that affects their intimate connection.

Now although that sounds like a challenge, and indeed, I’ve been accused of making relationships sound like hard work, my question to you is this: would you prefer to be alone for the rest of your life, or would you prefer to put in a certain amount of effort so you get into a relationship which is heartwarming and rewarding, and can fulfil all your personal and sexual needs?

I think when I put it like that the answer is obvious, isn’t it?

Yet most people never spend any time at all learning how to be in relationship in a way that can give them the deepest pleasure and satisfaction. Perhaps that’s because people are innately lazy, or perhaps it’s because people don’t actually know that they can learn how to be in relationship in a better way.

Whatever the cause of this, it’s worthwhile remarking on the fact that communication skills are not natural to the human being, because we are all brought up by parents who in their own turn were educated and brought up by people who didn’t have communication or empathy skills.

(I’ve heard it said that this is particularly true for the generations that went through a war – they came back from war traumatized and emotionally closed, thereby rendering the experience of their children as they were growing up similarly emotional closed and, perhaps in some ways, even emotionally deprived.)

Yet now we need is a generation of responsible citizens to break the cycle of abuse in denial and deprivation which has so affected the course of humanity throughout history….

And I know that because you’re looking at this website, which is titled “fear of being alone” you want something better for yourself than a standard relationship which is unsatisfactory and lacks genuine intimacy and communication.

Yet I also note the same time that you are probably the same as every human being I’ve ever met, which is to say, you don’t know how to establish a relationship of empathy and intimacy – and you basically need to be referred to some websites (or other sources of learning, of course) which can help you to understand what it is you don’t currently know about relationship – including your need to know to have a good one!

Well in my book, there’s no better way of preparing for a relationship than having a look at this website, which is indeed all about having a better relationship – on there you are going to see many techniques for intimacy and communication and establishing great connection.

Please don’t be misled by the fact that the website looks as though it’s built for people who want to know how to get their ex partner back after a breakup of relationship.

All of the information on that website is in fact highly relevant to anybody who is in relationship with another person or wants to be in relationship with another person.

You may be thinking at this stage that this is a rather mechanistic and perhaps slightly unromantic way of establishing good quality relationship.

My only response to that is to say that nothing in life that is worthwhile is gained by abdicating responsibility for making some effort to ensure that you get what you want, or that you are fully equipped to be able to do what you want within a relationship in the best possible way for all concerned.

So my other recommendation would be that you get some help with non-verbal communication, you get some help with intimacy and listening skills, and you then find a way of doing workshops with your partner which will help you to establish intimacy and mutual understanding without projecting your unresolved emotional issues onto each other.

Yes, perhaps this is unromantic, perhaps it is difficult, perhaps it’s even challenging – but as I said a moment ago, nothing in life that’s worthwhile is achieved without the investment of at least some time or energy.

And really, when you think about the rewards of friendship based on heart-to-heart connection, there’s no question that making the small amount of effort necessary to gain the skills you can use in relationship is highly worthwhile.

I might further add, that if you’re planning to have children, then you actually have a moral responsibility to find a way of being in relationship that is powerful and connected.

Children are invariably emotionally damaged by divorce, by break-up of relationship, or by abusive relationships, or even by relationships in which the expression of anger is unrestrained.

We as a human race have a lot of growing up to do, and you can be the person who starts to make a difference in your world, by learning the skills right here, right now.

All that is necessary for you to do is to make a commitment to change things, to change the way you’ve lived your life up to this point, and change the way in which you now relate to yourself, your family, your friends, your intimate partners and indeed the world, going forward from now on.

I do not want to put the burden of the guilt of all people who have gone before you, but what I do want to impress upon you that people who make a difference never understand fully the extent of the difference that they are making in the world.

By doing one small act of kindness a day, you can massively impact the quality of the world around you – and if you’re in a relationship, then one small act of kindness a day towards your partner can go a very long way to not only giving them a greater better experience life, but also make you a loving compassionate and intimately connected human being. (I also think that being fit and healthy is essential in having a great relationship. My own recommendation would be to enjoy a yoga class now and again.)