Anxiety and How To Deal With It

Anxiety, Stress and Fight or Flight

In dangerous situations which may require a greater than normal level of physical activity (such as fighting or running away from an enemy), we have a self-protection system wired into our genes called the fight or flight response.

This is a reaction in our bodies and minds which makes us ready for massive physical exertion. It is controlled by the sympathetic branch of the autonomic (meaning self-regulating) nervous system.

One of the functions of the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is to control the release of the hormone adrenalin, which in turn raises the level of tension in the muscles of the body so that they are prepared for greater physical exertion.

It also makes the heart pump faster and more deeply, thus producing that uncomfortable awareness of one’s heart pounding away like a hammer in one’s chest. Besides these physical effects, adrenalin also stimulates our feelings of fear, anger and exhilaration.

Other obvious bodily changes controlled by the SNS include: changes in the tension of the bowel and bladder sphincter muscles, diversion of blood from the skin and internal organs to the skeletal muscles (thus producing a pale face and a dry mouth), the halting of activity in the stomach and gut (producing “butterflies in the stomach” and that “sinking feeling”), and an increase in sweating as preparation to cool the body after any violent activity.

There are other, more subtle changes, too. For example, one’s pupils dilate, and the walls of one’s blood vessels constrict, thereby increasing blood pressure. The other branch of the autonomic nervous system – the parasympathetic – opposes all these changes. It has been called the “rest-digest” system because it reduces muscle tension, stores energy and encourages digestion.

The evolution of the fight-flight response allowed animals to react automatically to danger. The need for humans to prepare for a fight to the death or rapid escape mostly disappeared as we became more socialized, though even now the fight-flight response is still evoked when we are in danger.

And, of course, this is fine if you do happen to need physical activity. Problems arise, however, because evolution has provided us with a thinking, conscious brain which allows us to perceive threats to our emotional well-being as well as threats of physical harm. In either case the result is the same: the subconscious switches on the fight or flight response. Often one-to-one help in the form of therapy or shadow work is needed to reduce your stress level.

Thus, for example, we sit through an examination or interview with a pounding heart, a tense body, an upset stomach, unable to think clearly and generally very emotionally aroused. (Emotional arousal refers to the effects of a general increase in activity of the SNS, including the release of adrenalin and associated increase in mental activity.)

While mild arousal may pass almost unnoticed and slightly greater arousal may actually improve one’s performance, higher levels of arousal are a major factor in various forms of anxiety. 

The kind of situation which raises adrenalin levels is very common in our society and our lives: a man under pressure at work, a woman at home bringing up the family under financial constraints, a couple trapped in an unhappy marriage – all these people and many more will habitually experience mild but persistent levels of arousal.

Overcome the startle response and reduce stress

To overcome stress you may need to overcome the way in which your anxiety can spiral rapidly out of control after the initial startle response. One way in which you can stop this spiral of anxiety and stress developing is to actually be aware of the sensation of the startle response. This is often experienced as an uncomfortable jolt to the stomach.

If you can recognize this immediately it occurs and then relax consciously, you’ll find that your stress levels can effectively be controlled and there probably won’t be any development of anxiety as result.

However, the problem is that if you are busy, preoccupied or distracted, you might not even notice the initial startle response, and by the time you’ve realized what’s happening, your stress could spiral out of control.

It’s actually quite easy to initially control the level of stress and anxiety, but it becomes more difficult as the anxiety develops. Sometimes, such a high level of sympathetic nervous system arousal can take a long time to decrease, so you may need to relax for half an hour or more to get back into a state of parasympathetic nervous system calmness. Eventually, this state of arousal can be a permanent feature of your life. And at that point, you may need to do some appropriate therapeutic work, such as counselling, therapy, or shadow work.

Relaxation is always effective but it does require persistence and some people actually become anxious when the relaxation that they’re practicing doesn’t immediately calm them down and cause them to feel less stressed. This lack of persistence can cause great difficulties, particularly if they resign themselves to the fact that their anxiety and stress is never going to diminish. In fact in such situations a person often resorts to negative self-talk such as “I can’t even relax, I’ll never be able to control my anxiety!”

Another effective way of controlling stress and anxiety is to train your body so that once the startle response occurs you immediately react with relaxation. If you can manage to do this you won’t have to be on the alert for the initial surge of adrenaline, because even if you notice it, your body will be conditioned to respond with the correct relaxation response.

It’s a powerful form of stress control: an instant relaxation response to all types of stressful stimuli. And, more important, it actually allows you to control the level of anxiety that you experience. You’ll need someone to help you….and that might take the form of a shadow work workshop. If you’re looking for single gender male groups, try this – work on your shadow unconscious. If you prefer one to one shadow work sessions, this is the place to go. And you can read more about shadow work in all its forms here.

You can do this by starting with quick relaxation (or deep relaxation if that is more appropriate for you) so that you are completely free of tension. Now have somebody nearby make a loud noise at any time in the 20 seconds after you ask them to. It’s important that you know the sound is going to occur but you don’t know exactly when. An easy way of producing a suitable sound is simply to clap hands or slap a rolled up newspaper onto a tabletop.

As you will discover, even though you’ve been expecting this noise, when you’re in a relaxed state you’ll have a startle response which means that adrenaline has been released into your bloodstream.

It’s the constant release of adrenaline which produces constant tiredness and stress – the sort which seems to be uncontrollable. If you can actually intervene at this stage of your body’s response you’ll be able to live a much calmer way of life, with much lower levels of stress, and protect yourself from the distressing and deleterious effects of cortisol.

Back to the method: once you’ve responded with a startle response to the noise produced by the person who’s helping you, make sure you relax completely once again. No matter how long this takes, you must be completely relaxed, you must let all your muscles relax, and you must allow yourself to relax physically so that when your helper makes the next noise you are already in a state of complete relaxation.

When you’re relaxed, ask your helper to repeat the noise; you’re looking for a stimulus which produces a small spurt of anxiety and arousal, not a massive response that would be hard to control.

You want to achieve the lowest level of arousal which you can use as a signal for relaxation, which means the helper needs to produce a moderately loud sound without any prior warning. Once again use this noise as a signal to relax.

Your startle response will begin to be associated with physical relaxation in your body. You can aid this process by mentally repeating the word relax, or saying to yourself, “this stress is all going away” every time you breathe out. Focus on what you’re doing so that you actually feel relaxation developing throughout your body.

And then finally repeat the process a third time: hopefully, if you’ve associated relaxation with the startle response effectively, the third noise will produce a much lower level of arousal in your body: this shows you are getting less sensitive to the startle response and that the conditioning response between startle response and relaxation is beginning to develop.

It is desirable while learning this process to actually train as above twice a day for up to 3 weeks, leaving several hours between the two sessions. You may also want to record on an MP3 or other medium a series of loud noises at random intervals; you can then use that recording in this training, and this will alleviate the need to have somebody helping you.

After a few days’ practicing you’ll find that your body is using the startle response as a signal to relax! At this stage you’ll be well in control of your anxiety, although repeated reinforcement of the conditioning may be necessary from time to time.

This is only one part of a training program for stress relief; you also need to include positive self-talk affirmations and keep maintaining your relaxation responses. 

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