I guess if you’re going to write a blog post about what women want from men, one of the best places to go is a women’s forum where a woman can actually tell you!
So, accepting that one woman’s view is not necessarily any more reliable than one man’s view, but trusting that it might be so, I offer you this information about what might please a woman in bed.
What To Do To Please A Woman
And she’s not mincing words, either. Her article’s entitled “How to F**k a woman so she keeps coming back”. And I think it’s fair to say that the word “coming” in that sentence has a double meaning.
But you know, things start well. She makes the point that men do indeed have it difficult in a post feminist society. Women freak out about what appear to be insignificant issues. And they can be very picky.
But then again, of course, men often don’t behave honestly. Or at least, they don’t communicate honestly. So what this woman is saying is basically “be a man”. But what I don’t think she understands is that many of us don’t know how to be a man.
We are feminized, or we are raging, or we’re not sure even where our sexual interest lies – men or women. Maybe both.
So from a female perspective, where empathy with the male condition might be lacking, while intellectual understanding is certainly present, here’s her advice for men wanting to know how to please a woman in (or out) of bed.
1 A Man Really Does Need to Take Charge
Sure, not all women feel the same about this. Some of them will think that you’re being pushy. But most women like a man who takes charge in bed, but does it in a skilful way, so that sex moves forward easily and graciously.
Now admittedly, this woman’s got a thing about boys pretending to be men. And maybe she’s right, let’s face it: loads of men in the world today do behave like boys. And as she rightfully says, women want strong, confident, validated – i.e. self validated – powerful men who can “take them on a journey and not expect to follow her”. She also makes the point that women want men who can live life on their own terms, regardless of anyone else’s point of view.
Now if that all sounds a little bit macho to you, panic not. What she’s talking about are the core values of masculinity in its finest form: strength, loyalty, courage, commitment, the ability to express emotions and empathize, strength, certainty, and clear masculine identity. Among other things….
Do you have the power to make your woman feel this way?
If you don’t know how to get those things you don’t feel that you possess them, start reading, for example this might help, and so might this.
2 Know Her Sexual Anatomy
Now you guys out there, or at least a lot of you, think that the ultimate expression of your sexuality is f**king a woman until she comes. But what you don’t seem to realize is that around 90% of women will not come through vaginal thrusting.
They will only come through clitoral stimulation. So the question arises – are you willing to find out how to stimulate her clitoris and indeed the whole of the vulval area, so that she reaches orgasm, without penetrating her? If you don’t, then it’s time for some lessons in female sexuality. As in, for example, leaning what will bring a woman to orgasm.
It isn’t that difficult to bring a woman off (i.e. make her come). You just have to know how.
If you really don’t know, just ask your partner what she would like, and listen attentively. And if that isn’t good enough, then ask her to show you, by using her own hand to bring herself off. You never know, you might learn something.
Above all else, don’t treat the next girl you meet like the last one you treated. Every woman is different, and every woman is likely to give you a different answer to the question, “what would please you in bed?”
3 Women Like To Have Sex
One painful truth that a lot of men can’t face is that while the idea of women “making love” and men “having sex” seems to fit their psyche, the reality might be that the majority of women actually want a good experience with a powerful and masculine man in bed who can raise their sexual expectations and desire to match his.
And then, having raised it, these women want to experience passionate and intense lovemaking. Now don’t get me wrong, I know there are women out there who are sweet and gentle and want wonderful lovemaking with eye contact and kisses.
But you can pretty much assume that in every goddess there is a Rati. And she needs something different. She needs to meet her Shiva. (If you find the idea of a truly sexual woman too frightening, then find another goddess who will do the same thing for you – bring you into your own masculinity. Tantra is good for this.)
4 Women Might Like Rough Sex
Again, a revolutionary idea – that women might be into hair pulling and spanking and so on. And of course they might not be, too. You just need to make a judgement, and maybe the way to find out is to ask her first what she’s in to. If you get it wrong, that’s probably the end of your relationship.
5 Noisy Sex Is OK!
How much noise do you make during sex? Do you keep it quiet? Well, what you need to do is make some sounds – grunt, yell, scream her name, whisper her name- but just do something.
Don’t sound off like a mating bull, but don’t remain completely silent. She needs to hear that you’re enjoying her, because part of her self-esteem comes from knowing that you’re turned on by her, that you can’t resist her, and that she has the ability to excite you and lead you to place beyond your ability to control your desire.
Maybe what she needs is to see you truly out of control – because of her sexuality. And another question is, do you know how to talk dirty to a woman while you’re having sex? Do you even know what dirty talk is? If not, how about using your imagination?
6 Women Like To See You Come
The basis of good sex is getting well away from the idea that women are all delicate sweet creatures who don’t know any rude words, and who will be surprised if you put a bit of energy into sex.
For example, women like to watch men orgasm (and vice versa). Or at least, most of them do. It’s an amazing symbol for a woman of how powerful her sexual control over you, your desire and your passion is – so don’t be surprised if she gets off on watching ejaculate. And don’t make any assumptions about the part of her body in which she wants it. (Ask her, dude.)
Of course there’s no question that trying to work out what women want can be confusing. Of course women are different.
Resolving this is all about being a man who can keep a woman safe, so that she doesn’t have to worry. Deep in the male genetic code is a desire to keep the woman safe, and deep in the female genetic code is a desire to be protected and held safe by a man.
When a woman feel safe secure and free, ensure that everything is going to be OK, she feels satisfied and happy. So a man has two critical jobs: reassuring a woman with his presence, making her feel safe, and knowing how to please a woman in bed. At least, that’s my theory.