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alternative therapies for stress relief, Reiki, Shadow Work

How To End Your Stress!

How To Cure Stress!

Reduce Your Stress With Self-help techniques

There are many effective alternative therapies for stress.

Has Reiki anything in common with shadow work?

Reiki and shadow work are distinct practices with different origins and purposes, but some individuals may choose to integrate them for holistic well-being. Let’s explore the key aspects of each practice and identify potential connections:

Reiki:
Energetic Healing: Reiki is a form of energy healing that originated in Japan. Practitioners use their hands to channel universal life force energy to promote physical, emotional, and spiritual healing.

Balancing Energy Centers: Reiki is often used to balance the energy centers (chakras) in the body, promoting a sense of harmony and well-being.

Stress Reduction: Reiki is known for its ability to induce relaxation and reduce stress by helping to release blocked or stagnant energy.

Understanding the Archetypes of King Warrior Magician and Lover in Shadow Work
Psychological and Spiritual Exploration: Shadow work, rooted in Jungian psychology, involves exploring and integrating the unconscious or “shadow” aspects of the psyche. This includes acknowledging and working with repressed thoughts, emotions, and experiences.

Inner Conflict Resolution: The goal of shadow work is to reduce inner conflict by accepting and integrating the disowned parts of oneself. This process contributes to personal growth, self-awareness, and emotional balance.

Mindfulness and Self-Discovery: Shadow work often includes practices such as mindfulness, self-reflection, and introspection to bring hidden aspects of the self into conscious awareness.

Commonalities and Integration:
While Reiki and shadow work are distinct practices, some individuals may find complementary aspects in both approaches:

Energetic Release: Both practices may involve the release of energy blockages, whether on a physical or emotional level. Reiki’s focus on balancing energy and shadow work’s emphasis on acknowledging and processing emotions can intersect in this regard.

Holistic Healing: Integrating Reiki and shadow work can contribute to a holistic approach to healing, addressing both physical and psychological aspects of well-being. The Shadow Work approach can be seen in the work of Ali Kirk, who offers a 3 month journey through the archetypes of King Warrior Magician and Lover.

Relaxation and Stress Reduction: Reiki’s ability to induce relaxation and shadow work’s emphasis on resolving inner conflicts can synergistically contribute to stress reduction and overall relaxation.

Spiritual Growth: For individuals who view spiritual growth as an integral part of their well-being, the combination of Reiki and shadow work may provide a more comprehensive approach to personal development.

It’s important to note that the integration of practices should be done mindfully and with awareness of one’s own needs and preferences. Some individuals may find that combining Reiki with introspective practices like shadow work enhances their overall experience of healing and self-discovery. If you’re considering integrating these practices, it may be helpful to consult with practitioners skilled in both Reiki and shadow work or to seek guidance from professionals in each respective field.

Video – Shadow work

Reflexology and Stress

Our immune defences are down when we feel stressed. Reflexology to the feet can allow healing energy to flow and stimulate the body’s natural homeostasis. Many illnesses are stress related – the severity and the effects of stress vary with each individual, but the common effects of stress include ulcers, indigestion, constipation, hypertension, headaches or migraines, panic attacks and depression, palpitations, and even heart attack and coronary thrombosis.

Stress causes muscular tension and affects the nervous system; blood vessels constrict so the blood does not freely carry oxygen and nutrients. Reflexology treatment induces muscular relaxation, reduces physical tension and helps the nervous system to function normally, thus reducing stress.

Other effects include helping the lymphatic system work more effectively, so reducing toxins and impurities. Breathing becomes deeper and more relaxed. Hormone levels become more balanced. The client feels calm, relaxed, and re-energized.

Reiki and Stress

Stress is so harmful to your health. Work is stressful, sticking to your finances may be extremely stressful, traffic jams are stressful, and bringing up a family may be very stressful. Stress causes loads of problems – headaches, muscle aches, insomnia, irritability, and many more. We all get stress at some point in our lives, but we can get rid of it and release it with Reiki  – Universal Life Energy.

Reiki is an old system of healing used to reduce pain and aid relaxation and increase well-being in stressed out people. Reiki is the life force or energy which moves through the palms of the hands to a client during contact with the Reiki healer. Reiki helps achieve balance and healing through the body’s own healing system.

The Reiki practitioner is merely  a conduit through which the Universal Life Energy is channelled, using a hands off technique. Reiki flows through the palms at the right rate for the recipient – affected by all kinds of factors including the illness, the recipient’s readiness to accept healing, and so on.

Reiki is not religious healing, and the recipient does not have to have a belief system for Reiki to work. Although Reiki  encourages spiritual growth and is spiritual in nature, it holds no conflict with anyone’s beliefs. Regardless of your gender,  race, religion, intelligence Reiki is a gift of vitality and energy that is offered to everyone. Reiki can give you the sensations of warmth or coolness, tingling, throbbing, and a number of other feelings like drowsiness.

A Reiki Master can perform attunements where Reiki symbols are placed sequentially on the recipient’s body and given at least five minutes of devotion; the supply of Reiki is indefinite and when you are giving a Reiki treatment you are not losing any of your own psychic energy; the energy flows automatically to wherever it is needed, though if you get more mentally involved, this can open a pathway to allow Reiki to pass more effectively to where it is needed most.

Reiki can greatly reduce life’s daily stresses and help in pain management. Reiki is a gift of balance and is very relaxing, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. For stressed individuals, Reiki and Universal Life Energy in the body will relieve those problems and balance emotional turbulence causing any emotional problems. 

Reiki Masters and practitioners can use distance healing: treatments can be transmitted with a fixed intention of relaxing and calming. Reiki is a rewarding experience which greatly reduces stress in our lives.

Kinesiology for Stress

We are all affected by stress, regardless of our intention. The ability to handle stress differs from person to person. If not handled correctly, stress may fix in the body and induce physical symptoms; indeed, stress is one of the major causes of death in the modern world.

Our body’s stress response is natural, the “Fight or Flight” response. As an essential survival mechanism it directs resources (blood/energy) to parts of the body where they are needed. But in our modern world running from predators is not often required, so this non-specific response causes physical problems such as stomach aches, indigestion and ulcers! Kinesiology is used to confirm the various causes of stress and then release it, enabling a man or woman to deal with the problem objectively.

shadow work and fear of being alone

Shadow Work As A Tool For Overcoming Fear Of Being Alone

How could shadow work help with a fear of being alone?

Shadow work is a psychological and introspective process that involves exploring and integrating the parts of yourself that you might have repressed or denied.

These aspects, often referred to as your “shadow,” include thoughts, feelings, desires, and memories that you might find uncomfortable, embarrassing, or socially unacceptable. Engaging in shadow work can help you understand and accept these hidden aspects of yourself, leading to personal growth and a deeper sense of self-awareness.

Shadow work – video

About shadow work

https://youtu.be/iH0UEkufz_Q 

When it comes to a fear of being alone, shadow work can be a valuable tool in addressing and working through this fear.

Here’s how it might help:

  1. Identifying the Root Cause: Shadow work encourages you to delve into your past and uncover any experiences, traumas, or conditioning that might have contributed to your fear of being alone. This could involve exploring moments when you felt abandoned, neglected, or rejected. By understanding the origins of your fear, you can gain insight into why it exists and start the process of healing.
  2. Uncovering Beliefs and Patterns: Often, our fears are fueled by deep-seated beliefs and thought patterns that we might not be consciously aware of. Through shadow work, you can shine a light on these hidden beliefs and thought patterns related to being alone. For instance, you might uncover beliefs like “I’m not worthy of love and attention” or “Being alone means I’m unlovable.” Recognizing and challenging these beliefs is crucial for changing your perspective.
  3. Integration and Acceptance: Shadow work is about acknowledging and embracing all parts of yourself, even the ones you’ve been avoiding. By confronting the fear of being alone head-on, you can start to accept it as a valid part of your experience rather than something to be ashamed of. This acceptance can lessen the power the fear holds over you.
  4. Building Resilience: Engaging in shadow work requires courage and resilience. As you work through difficult emotions and experiences, you develop emotional resilience that can extend to other areas of your life, including facing your fear of being alone. Over time, you may become better equipped to handle feelings of isolation and find healthier ways to cope with them.
  5. Creating a New Narrative: Shadow work helps you rewrite the story you tell yourself about being alone. Instead of seeing it as something negative or threatening, you can begin to reframe it as an opportunity for self-discovery, self-care, and personal growth. This shift in perspective can gradually reduce the fear associated with being alone.
  6. Developing Self-Compassion: Shadow work is a compassionate practice that encourages self-compassion. As you explore your fears and vulnerabilities, you learn to treat yourself with kindness and understanding. This self-compassion is a powerful antidote to fear, as it counters the harsh self-judgment that often fuels our anxieties.

Remember that shadow work can be a deeply personal and introspective process. While it can be immensely beneficial, it might also bring up challenging emotions. If you find that your fear of being alone is causing significant distress, it’s a good idea to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can guide you through the process in a safe and structured way.

Who could train me in shadow work?

About the training

Shadow work is a complex and introspective process that involves exploring your own psyche, emotions, and beliefs. While you can certainly embark on this journey on your own, working with a trained professional can provide valuable guidance, support, and a safe space to navigate the often challenging aspects of shadow work. Here are a few types of professionals who could potentially help you with shadow work:

  1. Therapists or Counselors: Mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors, are trained to help individuals navigate their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Some therapists specialize in Jungian psychology, which heavily incorporates the concept of the “shadow.” They can provide structured guidance and techniques to help you work through your fears and explore your hidden aspects.
  2. Psychologists: Psychologists with a background in depth psychology or analytical psychology (like Carl Jung’s theories) can offer insights into the shadow and guide you through the process of exploring and integrating it.
  3. Life Coaches: Some life coaches are trained in techniques that align with shadow work principles. They might help you set goals, uncover limiting beliefs, and explore the deeper aspects of yourself that contribute to your fear of being alone.
  4. Spiritual Teachers or Guides: Certain spiritual or mindfulness teachers incorporate shadow work into their teachings. They might guide you through meditation, self-reflection exercises, and mindfulness practices that facilitate the exploration of your inner self.
  5. Workshop Facilitators: There are workshops and group sessions that focus specifically on shadow work. These sessions can provide a supportive environment where you can learn about the process, practice techniques, and share experiences with others who are on a similar journey.
  6. Online Resources: There are books, articles, videos, and online courses dedicated to shadow work. While these resources might not provide personalized guidance, they can still offer valuable insights and techniques that you can incorporate into your self-guided shadow work practice.

When seeking someone to guide you in shadow work, consider the following factors:

  • Qualifications: Look for professionals who have relevant training, certifications, and experience in psychology, therapy, coaching, or related fields.
  • Approach: Research their approach to shadow work. Different professionals may have varying methods and philosophies, so find one that resonates with you.
  • Compatibility: It’s important to feel comfortable and connected with the person guiding you. You should feel safe sharing your thoughts, emotions, and vulnerabilities with them.
  • Feedback and Reviews: If possible, read reviews or testimonials from others who have worked with the professional. This can give you an idea of their effectiveness and approach.

Remember that shadow work is a personal journey, and finding the right guide or resource might take some time. It’s also worth noting that while a guide can be helpful, ultimately, the work itself comes from your own willingness to explore and confront your inner landscape.

Here are a few well-known organizations and approaches that are often associated with shadow work. Please note that you should research and verify the most up-to-date information before making any decisions.

  1. International Association for Analytical Psychology (IAAP): The IAAP is a global organization dedicated to promoting the understanding and application of Carl Jung’s analytical psychology. They provide resources, training, and events related to Jungian psychology, which includes concepts like the shadow.
  2. The Shift Network: The Shift Network offers online courses, workshops, and events on various personal growth and transformation topics, including shadow work. They collaborate with various experts in psychology, spirituality, and self-improvement.
  3. Depth Psychology Alliance: This online community is a platform for individuals interested in depth psychology, Jungian psychology, and related areas. While it doesn’t provide formal training, it offers a space for discussions, resources, and connections.
  4. Healing the Shadow. An organisation specializing in training therapists in the art of shadow work. This company has been in existence for some years and is based on the skill of its founding members, Marianne Hill and Rod Boothroyd, two highly experienced practitioners.
  5. Online Courses and Workshops: Many individual coaches, therapists, and educators offer online courses and workshops specifically focused on shadow work. Websites like Udemy, Coursera, and Teachable often have courses related to personal development, including shadow work.
  6. Local Therapists and Practitioners: Depending on your location, you might find therapists, counselors, or coaches who specialize in Jungian psychology or depth psychology. They might incorporate shadow work into their practice.

Remember that when seeking organizations or individuals for shadow work training, it’s important to thoroughly research their background, credentials, and reviews. Look for experienced professionals with a solid foundation in psychology, counseling, or related fields. You might also find recommendations from others who have engaged in shadow work or personal development pursuits.

Additionally, as the field of personal development and psychology is ever-evolving, new organizations and resources may have emerged since my last update. It’s a good idea to search online, ask for recommendations in relevant communities, and consider seeking guidance from mental health professionals who can provide informed referrals.

overcoming sexual problems

How To Overcome Sexual Problems

Self Entrancement Arousal Leads To Better Sex

You probably haven’t heard this term before, so we need to look at it in detail, what it means, and how it forms part of the method to help men sexual problems. These include premature ejaculation and other sexual problems like delayed ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. If you don’t know about delayed ejaculation you can read this book on delayed ejaculation to get a good overview.

Basically, the purpose of self-entrancement arousal is to allow a man to become much more connected with his own body. That’s in terms of both what it looks like and what it feels like. Another part of the same developmental process is to become more aware of how he responds to the touch of his partner.

Most men with premature ejaculation focus on partner involvement as a method of becoming aroused. In other words, the man’s actually focusing on erotic experiences that are outside his own body. He’s thinking, for example, of how sexy his partner is as he looks as her body; he’s not thinking about the pleasure he is feeling in his own body.

Of course this may seem very natural to men who don’t know there is another way: which is to focus on their own bodily arousal, pleasure and sexual experience.

And it is also an enjoyable method of becoming sexually aroused, which reinforces the tendency men have to take that approach…. But it doesn’t provide many ways of developing good control of your own arousal.

Lasting Longer In Bed

One of the characteristics of men who experience premature ejaculation, or have no control over their orgasm and ejaculation, is that they don’t know when they are going to ejaculate.

When it happens they may feel very surprised by it – almost as though it’s come from nowhere. So to learn better ejaculatory control, it’s necessary for a man to learn how he can focus on his own arousal.  This is an arousal style called sensual self-entrancement arousal.

As you can guess from the words, the focus here is all about one’s own physical or bodily sensations. The term self-entrancement arousal is an umbrella term for several techniques. Each of those techniques has a focus on the man’s own physical bodily sensations.

So in other words a man can develop greater stamina in bed by becoming “self-entranced” rather than by interacting with his partner.

Video – self entrancement arousal

This is a proven route to greater control of arousal. By focusing much more on the physical sensations you experience during sex, and learning how to control and respond to your own arousal, you can feel less anxiety, and this further controls your tendency to ejaculate too quickly.

And it’s a far better approach to controlling sexual arousal than so-called distraction techniques, which simply don’t work.

Self-entrancement allows you to focus on the pleasurable feelings that you’re experiencing in your body during sex rather than focusing on something “external” such as a sexual fantasy. Or, for that matter,  your partner’s breasts or body. And it prevents you from trying to distract yourself from the feelings and experience of sex.

In brief, the techniques that are incorporated into a self-entrancement arousal approach to arousal control are:

PC muscle control

This means learning to consciously relax the pubococcygeal muscle in the pelvic area. This is not hard to do but requires training. Once the technique has been learned, it provides a simple focus for ensuring that you are both physically relaxed and also using the muscle to increase stamina in bed by means of greater ejaculatory control.

A man is taught to relax his pubococcygeal muscles at the same time as he is becoming sexually aroused. When the man relaxes these muscle before penetration, there is a natural ejaculation inhibition.

The Stop Start Technique For Premature Ejaculation

The stop-start technique was developed by James Semans in 1956. It basically requires a man to train himself using masturbation to develop an awareness of how aroused he is, so that he knows how near or far from the point of ejaculatory inevitability he is at any time.

After learning this by means of self-pleasuring, the technique is extended to involve sexual and sensual activity with the man’s partner.

The stop-start technique develops a man’s stamina and endurance in bed by employing a progressive series of exercises. These help the man develop a clear awareness of when he’s getting near the point of orgasm because he can recognize the physical sensations which precede ejaculation. And, when ejaculation is too close, he can stop sexual stimulation and so avoid coming. In other words, the stop start technique develops awareness and allows a man to last longer in bed and control his ejaculation response.

A Cognitive Arousal Continuum

Developed by Michael Metz, this  involves mental discipline: controlling the thoughts that occur during sexual stimulation so that you can regulate your own arousal. With much greater and considerably increased arousal, you can learn how to overcome delayed ejaculation as well.

Basically, when using the arousal continuum technique, a man will make the effort to think about and distinguish between the various thoughts, feelings, sensory impressions, actions and behaviors which characterize his own arousal pattern.

When he can do this, he can basically rank these things in order of how important they are in bringing him to a greater state of arousal: to put it simply, how stimulating they are.

And then, during lovemaking itself, a man can manage, his level of sexual arousal by choosing to focus on certain aspects of his thoughts. These may either increase arousal or reduce it. This will help him to last longer in bed and be a better lover with more stamina. They can also help him become much more aroused before he makes love to his partner; this will help him ejaculate faster if he experiences delayed ejaculation.

For premature ejaculation, this approach prevents the rapid “running away” of arousal and the unexpected arrival at the point of no return.

Sensate Focus

This is effectively a form of co-operative bodily communication with a partner.

We mentioned earlier that it’s better for a man who can’t control his ejaculation and lacks stamina in bed to focus on his own sense of pleasure rather than to focus on the arousal that he receives because of the presence of his lover.

So, in brief, when the couple are relaxing and pleasuring each other, the woman will stimulate her man’s penis very gently and calmly as he concentrates on the physical sensations he’s experiencing.

This is another way of developing his sense of self-entrancement. This is necessary for appropriate ejaculation control. It helps a man develop his ability to last longer in bed and to pleasure his partner fully.

So here we have a combination of erection, stimulation, and what might be termed “calm arousal” all being practiced at the same time. The goal is to achieve arousal at the same time as physical relaxation. And this, in turn, ensures a man is not becoming aroused too soon, too fast, too much – in a way which is beyond his ability to control.

As you may know, fast orgasm or ejaculation is the most common male sexual problem. Indeed, for a young man fast ejaculation is quite normal. And delayed ejaculation is very common too – around 10% of men may be experiencing it at any time.

But for a significant proportion of men, a lack of stamina in bed, i.e. premature ejaculation, continues into their adult life, leaving them dissatisfied with their sexual performance, and their partners sexually unsatisfied. Learning new techniques of arousal can lead to massive improvements in a man’s sexual ability, and an increase in his pleasure as well as that of his partner. 

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Fear of being alone, Fear of intimacy, Fear of sex

Relationship Advice

So among the questions on this website about what might turn a woman on, there’s one really critical question that’s not actually been answered so far: what is it that allows men and women to get together in relationship, without arguing or having emotional problems of some kind?

More to the point, what is it that allows a man to get together with a woman in a relationship that is mutually satisfying, rewarding, and emotionally fulfilling?

So if I was being cynical, I’d really sum this up by saying what is it that allows a woman to Capture a Man’s Heart, and Make Him Love Her Forever?

You see, we all know that women and men are different in how they think and feel, and in particular we know that women have what we might call a “romantic streak”, while men tend to be much more sexually driven. These are generalities, of course, but they do hold true for a great many people in life, and it’s always worth remembering that generalities tend to be based on real examples of human behaviour.

Now I don’t regard myself as particularly cynical, because I’ve written many websites on romance, love, sex, and intimacy, and so my objective has always been to try and develop information packages and to convey dating advice and relationship advice that will help men and women establish a worthwhile and satisfying relationship.

But it occurred to me recently that there’s a much more fundamental need for information on the Internet, about how men and women can get into a relationship in the first place.

Now, I said I was going to provide information that would enable a woman to capture a man’s heart and make him love her forever. But believe it or not, that actually is the name of a genuine Internet program offered as a relationship advice program for women.

I was so intrigued when I discovered it that I actually wrote a whole review site about it, giving you all the information you could possibly need about how and why it’s possible for programs that might seem manipulative to be of real benefit couples in establishing a relationship together.

You see, I think we’re all in thrall to the idea of romantic love, and I think one of the things that flows from that is the suggestion that man should meet woman, man should fall in love with woman, woman should fall in love with man, and all live happily ever after.

Work as a therapist and counselor shows me that actually nothing could be further from what really happens: men struggle to meet women, women are frightened of men, prospective couples never talk to each other, many relationships are based on misunderstanding, the pickup artist community rules the Internet, and we don’t all live happily ever after. So to get around the stupidity of many Internet review sites, in particular those reviewing Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever.

And the lack of information and knowledge that so many people have about dating and relationships, I’m going to provide you with a genuine review of Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever and you can see this fantastic dating advice website here.

Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever is a program for women looking for a relationship with men, and its premise is that by providing information about male behaviour, emotions, thoughts and feelings, and explaining to women what it is that men really want, women will be better equipped to go out and get a relationship.

When you think about it, there’s nothing there that we can actually disagree with! Women like information about how men think and feel, and women want to know how to get over their difficulties in approaching men, because the conventional cultural standard is that women should wait to be pursued by men.

Yet men fear rejection to such an extent that this rarely happens! That’s really the true value of programs like Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever: they even out the discrepancy between the sexes by providing each sex with information about how the other thinks and feels, so that it really does become easier to capture each other’s hearts. Now whether or not you going to live romantically in love forever is another issue, but at least you have the best possible start….

Sidebar: Some months later: I do now have a little bit more to say about Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever — chiefly because I have discovered that it’s an extremely successful and popular program online with women.

What this says to me is that there’s a real shortage of good dating advice for women on the Internet.

That’s not meant to imply that capture his heart and make him love you forever isn’t a good program, because I believe that it is in fact an extremely good program — the fact of the matter is, however, that one of the reasons it sells so well is because there is very little competition of this quality.

It doesn’t matter whether or not you actually believe in the sexual stereotypes that underpin the writing of this program.

(And those sexual stereotypes are that: (1) women are searching for a long-term relationship with a man who will stay with them forever, and that they particularly want to marry that man and know that he cherishes and loves them above everyone else, and that (2) men are fickle creatures who need to have the thrill of the chase to excite them enough to want to enter into relationship with a woman, and even after they had done so, they still need to be stimulated in a similar way to maintain their interest.)

Sexual stereotypes are, after all, just what you make them: Bernie Zilbergeld spent a lot of time and effort demolishing sexual stereotypes and pointing out the myths that underpin many of our relationships, but I personally think he got this one wrong.

I think the truth of the matter is that men and women do behave in the ways described above, and that anything which enables men and women to attain a degree of freedom and choice whilst fulfilling their natural urges to relate to each other in those particular ways can only be a good thing.

This of course is where Mike Fiore and Claire Casey triumph above everyone else. They know, perhaps as no one else does, that establishing good relationships depends on particular forms, if you like, of interaction between men and women.

The secret of their success in writing Capture His Heart is to put down on paper the principles which seemed to underpin many of our relationships, and which certainly underpin good dating advice for women, but which are rarely acknowledged.

better relationships, calming anxiety, Fear of being alone, Fear of intimacy, Fear of sex

Overcome Fear Of Sex

We all want a wonderful sexual relationship

One of the wonderful things about intercourse is the union of mind and body that can come about when a couple are making love with an intimate heart to heart connection.

But one of the problems with an intimate heart to heart connection is that it’s not that easy to move beyond the techniques of sex when you’re concerned with whether or not your girl has an orgasm or how she’s feeling, or even if you are simply scared of making love.

And make no mistake about it, orgasm is a wonderful experience that can send the sexual energy surging through mind and body alike, passing around both partners’ bodies so that they achieve even greater spiritual union. This, in many ways, is the ultimate merging of two people into a unified whole. It involves the perceived loss of boundaries at the moment of orgasm.

But if you’re concerned with sex techniques that can bring this about, ironically you’re probably not in a frame of mind where the energy is just going to flow naturally, without inhibition.

What this means, therefore, is that you need a technique where you can actually make love to a partner without thinking about how you’re bringing her to orgasm, and just rely on the technique to make that happen while you enjoy intercourse.

Now you’ll observe that there are two corollaries to this. The first is that intimacy is something you are capable of enjoying. The second is that you have boundaries which are clear enough on a day to day basis to understand what it might be like to lose them. (And confident enough to engage so intimately with someone that you are wiling to take this chance.)

Exploring the shadow

Shadow work is a great way of exploring these profound issues of our humanity. Beyond the day to day manifestation of our personalities in the world lies a hidden area of the self: our shadow. this consists of the parts of ourselves which we hide, repress and deny. Mostly, we repress parts of ourselves due to some emotional wounding, which results in us hiding parts of ourselves out of sight. The best way to understand this is to think of the delicate, tender emotions of a child. So easily wounded, a child may come to adapt itself out of pain; the main aspects to such pain are the pain of rejection, the desire for acceptance, and the fear of not being loved.

But whatever parts of itself a child tucks away out of sight, they do not die. They go into shadow.

Shadow is the buzz word of modern psychology. We see all our fears and phobias as residing in shadow: that includes fear of intimacy. So a whole discipline of psychological therapy has grown up around the concept of shadow work. And those who practice it are shadow work facilitators.

So the question arises, as we move beyond the simple problem of fear of intimacy, or fear of being alone, or more accurately the fear of engaging with another human being in an intimate way….. “how can each of us most easily achieve intimate pleasure in an unpressured way?”

How, in other words, can we bond with another human being in the most intimate act of human union possible – sexual intercourse? The answer lies below.

The reality of sexual connection – the soul connection of sex

The coital alignment technique, or CAT, is a technique which relies on a different orientation of the male and the female body to that normally achieved during man on top or missionary position sex, oriented in such a way that the man’s penis moves in a more vertical direction than it would during conventional thrusting.

This up-and-down motion is actually a form of rocking on the pelvis of the woman, although she is rocking in synchrony with the man at the same time, so that the general area of her clitoris receives pressure from the man’s pubic area.

It’s this clitoral pressure rather than direct contact with the clitoris, (or direct contact between the penis and the G spot inside the vagina), that can bring a woman to orgasm during intercourse. Now, you might say, why not just manually stimulate the woman’s clitoris with your fingers as lovemaking proceeds conventionally?

And it’s very good question – I think in all the reviews of the coital  alignment technique I’ve seen, or indeed on websites devoted to enabling men to last longer in bed, I’ve never seen that specific question asked or answered.

But for me there’s something very romantic about being able to embrace your lover fully with your arms around her, or perhaps with your hands holding her head while you kiss her gently as lovemaking proceeds.

It’s a step in the right direction – the right direction being the stimulation of her genitals during intercourse so that she reaches orgasm during intercourse without use of masturbation or finger stimulation.

Not everybody finds the coital alignment technique easy to use – that’s certainly true; but on the other hand, those who master it find it to be a passport to sexual bliss, great fun and fantastic lovemaking.

If you feel you’d like to investigate new techniques for lovemaking you can do so on the links provided above, but what I should emphasize is that no sexual technique in isolation is a passport to sexual bliss – what you need for sexual bliss is probably more about the heart-to-heart connection that I referred to above.

From Yoga magazine.

Those of us who are spiritually inclined are even more acutely aware of how difficult it is to bring our spiritual values, our hearts, and our genitals into harmony. I’d meditated and practiced yoga for nearly a dozen years, reports one woman, but somehow I couldn’t bring the same depth and presence to my lovemaking. It was so hard to open up and let go. Or, as one man puts it, No matter how much meditation I was doing, as soon as Id become sexual, Id become a different person. All the old conditioning and anxiety would come back about how a man is supposed to behave.

Ironically, many of us have glimpsed the possibility that lovemaking can be a gateway to a higher state of consciousness. We may have had peak moments in sex when all sense of separation fell away. Or we may simply have the intuition that our sexual longings have a higher purpose. As George Feuerstein points out in his book Sacred Sexuality, sexual love is the most intense and tangible way that ordinary men and women strive for a union that transcends the boundaries of our everyday experience.

What a heart-to-heart connection looks like is the opening of the soul to receive and trust the other person with whom you’re making love: that trust is about not wounding, not abusing, not exploiting, and about allowing the other person “to be”… Yes, just to be to be who they are, to be what they are, to have whatever feelings arise for them and so on.

This is a very generous and openhearted place from which to make love, and there’s no question that the best sex certainly tends to come from and openhearted place.

getting what you want, Law of Attraction

The Gift of Manifestation

I say the “gift” of manifestation because it is one of the truly amazing gifts that we as a species have been given – the power to create reality using our minds.

Just imagine for a moment what this actually means – that we, as a species, both collectively and individually, of the power to create reality – to form our future and to bring it into being.

Now I don’t think many people who are expert in the world manifestation would disagree with the fact that we actually have that ability. For centuries – nay, millennia – people have been generating reality, creating reality, call it what you may, by setting their minds to particular objectives, and then using a certain set of mental techniques to bring those visions into physical reality.

In modern-day terms, we are probably most familiar with manifestation as a human brain function because of Rhonda Byrne’s remarkable book The Secret, which was also produced as a film in 2006. This book purported to let us all into the secrets of manifestation, although in actual fact it’s fair to say that there was a great deal left to the imagination.

Many of the instructions on manifestation were hidden in the upbeat positivity and affirmations provided by the many people who contributed to the book! Even so, it was a fascinating introduction to the subject from millions of people who might not otherwise have had the opportunity to incorporate manifestation into their lives.

But this kind of work will only take us so far, because there is a big gap between positive upbeat affirmations about the power of the (manifestation) process, and the techniques and detailed information needed to actually make it function in your own life. The law of attraction is a fundamental law of the universe, one which guides and controls the activities of every single one of us – whether we use it or not!

So it holds us all to be practical and wise, to inform ourselves about how we can manifest reality, and to explore just what it actually means to be a manifestor on the planet Earth today.

Now the first obvious thing that comes to mind is that if we are both individually and collectively responsible for creating our future, then something seems to have gone seriously wrong – the state of the planet today, even by the most optimistic judgements, could hardly be called positive, joyful and peaceful.

Indeed, words like ecocide and biocide have been used widely in recent times to describe what’s going on – which seems to be a collective expression of dark shadowy energy, rather like the “dark side of the force” in Star Wars!

And indeed, my proposition is that this is precisely what’s happening: that while we are all granted amazing, in fact unlimited, power in our subconscious, it has both a positive and negative side – white and black, dark and evil, positive and negative… and this is why manifestation, contrary to what many authors say, can be sued for good or evil.

You see, the truth of the matter is that we can use the Law of Attraction for attracting any energy that we choose.

But Let’s Hold On A Moment

But before we look at that, it’s fair to say that the unlimited power in our  subconscious mind is the product of the subconscious mind’s ability to connect with the unlimited and unbounded strength, knowledge, and potential of the universal intelligence.

We are not unique and individual creatures as we would like to think: what we are, in my view, is spiritual creatures living out the material existence on the planet.

And this means that we have that spiritual connection to the universal intelligence which gives us access to all the knowledge and information, both current and historical – and indeed also access to information about those things which have not yet occurred.

It follows, I think that if this unlimited power is available to us, then it could be directed to either negative or positive outcomes – and please bear in mind that positive and negative, dark and light, and good and evil are judgements made by us in our earthly existence. The universal intelligence, no such judgements exist: there just is a “state of being” in which such judgements are an irrelevance.

However the incredible state of negativity that exists in certain parts of planet Earth is probably a reflection of the unlimited negative energy that can be manifested when people turn their minds to the dark side rather than to the positive light side.

While this is an absolute tragedy for us as individuals living out our material existence on the world, and indeed for the planet itself, it is an inevitable consequence of the nature of the human mind and the structure of the archetypal energies that make up who and what we are on an energetic spiritual level.

(If you’re interested in learning more about the archetypal energies, then a useful book to read is King Warrior Magician Lover by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette, or Warrior Magician Lover King.)

So my encouragement to you reading this, is to move beyond the immediate concerns that you may have about your existence such as fear of being alone, or fear of being intimate, and to move into a place where you have a more expansive vision of the world and the horizon that lies ahead of us. In other words, you might choose to use the power of your subconscious mind to manifest reality on a grand scale – you might choose to aim high, aim big, in short, to aim for something that will really make a massive difference to the future of the planet and the people in it.

better relationships

For Men: Please A Woman In Bed and Have A Great Relationship

I guess if you’re going to write a blog post about what women want from men, one of the best places to go is a women’s forum where a woman can actually tell you!

So, accepting that one woman’s view is not necessarily any more reliable than one man’s view, but trusting that it might be so, I offer you this information about what might please a woman in bed.

What To Do To Please A Woman

And she’s not mincing words, either. Her article’s entitled “How to F**k a woman so she keeps coming back”. And I think it’s fair to say that the word “coming” in that sentence has a double meaning.

But you know, things start well. She makes the point that men do indeed have it difficult in a post feminist society. Women freak out about what appear to be insignificant issues. And they can be very picky.

But then again, of course, men often don’t behave honestly. Or at least, they don’t communicate honestly. So what this woman is saying is basically “be a man”. But what I don’t think she understands is that many of us don’t know how to be a man.

We are feminized, or we are raging, or we’re not sure even where our sexual interest lies – men or women. Maybe both.

So from a female perspective, where empathy with the male condition might be lacking, while intellectual understanding is certainly present, here’s her advice for men wanting to know how to please a woman in (or out) of bed.

1 A Man Really Does Need to Take Charge

Sure, not all women feel the same about this. Some of them will think that you’re being pushy. But most women like a man who takes charge in bed, but does it in a skilful way, so that sex moves forward easily and graciously.

Now admittedly, this woman’s got a thing about boys pretending to be men. And maybe she’s right, let’s face it: loads of men in the world today do behave like boys. And as she rightfully says, women want strong, confident, validated – i.e. self validated – powerful men who can “take them on a journey and not expect to follow her”. She also makes the point that women want men who can live life on their own terms, regardless of anyone else’s point of view.

Now if that all sounds a little bit macho to you, panic not. What she’s talking about are the core values of masculinity in its finest form: strength, loyalty, courage, commitment, the ability to express emotions and empathize, strength, certainty, and clear masculine identity. Among other things….

Do you have the power to make your woman feel this way?

If you don’t know how to get those things you don’t feel that you possess them, start reading, for example this might help, and so might this.

 2 Know Her Sexual Anatomy

Now you guys out there, or at least a lot of you, think that the ultimate expression of your sexuality is f**king a woman until she comes. But what you don’t seem to realize is that around 90% of women will not come through vaginal thrusting.

They will only come through clitoral stimulation. So the question arises – are you willing to find out how to stimulate her clitoris and indeed the whole of the vulval area, so that she reaches orgasm, without penetrating her? If you don’t, then it’s time for some lessons in female sexuality. As in, for example, leaning what will bring a woman to orgasm.

It isn’t that difficult to bring a woman off (i.e. make her come). You just have to know how.

If you really don’t know, just ask your partner what she would like, and listen attentively. And if that isn’t good enough, then ask her to show you, by using her own hand to bring herself off. You never know, you might learn something.

Above all else, don’t treat the next girl you meet like the last one you treated. Every woman is different, and every woman is likely to give you a different answer to the question, “what would please you in bed?”

3 Women Like To Have Sex

One painful truth that a lot of men can’t face is that while the idea of women “making love” and men “having sex” seems to fit their psyche, the reality might be that the majority of women actually want a good experience with a powerful and masculine man in bed who can raise their sexual expectations and desire to match his.

And then, having raised it, these women want to experience passionate and intense lovemaking. Now don’t get me wrong, I know there are women out there who are sweet and gentle and want wonderful lovemaking with eye contact and kisses.

But you can pretty much assume that in every goddess there is a Rati. And she needs something different. She needs to meet her Shiva. (If you find the idea of a truly sexual woman too frightening, then find another goddess who will do the same thing for you – bring you into your own masculinity. Tantra is good for this.)

4 Women Might Like Rough Sex

Again, a revolutionary idea – that women might be into hair pulling and spanking and so on. And of course they might not be, too. You just need to make a judgement, and maybe the way to find out is to ask her first what she’s in to. If you get it wrong, that’s probably the end of your relationship.

5 Noisy Sex Is OK!

How much noise do you make during sex? Do you keep it quiet? Well, what you need to do is make some sounds – grunt, yell, scream her name, whisper her name- but just do something.

Don’t sound off like a mating bull, but don’t remain completely silent. She needs to hear that you’re enjoying her, because part of her self-esteem comes from knowing that you’re turned on by her, that you can’t resist her, and that she has the ability to excite you and lead you to place beyond your ability to control your desire.

Maybe what she needs is to see you truly out of control – because of her sexuality. And another question is, do you know how to talk dirty to a woman while you’re having sex? Do you even know what dirty talk is? If not, how about using your imagination?

6 Women Like To See You Come

The basis of good sex is getting well away from the idea that women are all delicate sweet creatures who don’t know any rude words, and who will be surprised if you put a bit of energy into sex.

For example, women like to watch men orgasm (and vice versa). Or at least, most of them do. It’s an amazing symbol for a woman of how powerful her sexual control over you, your desire and your passion is – so don’t be surprised if she gets off on watching ejaculate. And don’t make any assumptions about the part of her body in which she wants it. (Ask her, dude.)

Of course there’s no question that trying to work out what women want can be confusing. Of course women are different.

Resolving this is all about being a man who can keep a woman safe, so that she doesn’t have to worry. Deep in the male genetic code is a desire to keep the woman safe, and deep in the female genetic code is a desire to be protected and held safe by a man.

When a woman feel safe secure and free, ensure that everything is going to be OK, she feels satisfied and happy. So a man has two critical jobs: reassuring a woman with his presence, making her feel safe, and knowing how to please a woman in bed. At least, that’s my theory.

Law of Attraction

Law of Attraction

It’s amazing to me how many people try the law of attraction but give up before they’ve achieved any great success.

I think in a way that’s one of the more pernicious outcomes of books and articles and TV program like The Secret in that it makes the process of manifestation (and getting what you want through attraction and co-creation) seem like a very simple and straightforward matter of applying a formula.

Yet the truth of the matter is, as anyone who has practiced manifestation will know, these processes can be anything but simple – and even though the outline of how to do it is often given in a way that makes it seem very straightforward, the complexities of actually producing reality (or “co-creating” reality) can be very much greater.

For one thing, a great deal of mental effort and energy is required to focus the thoughts which you are propelling out into the universe with your desires attached to them.

And we know that without sufficient mental energy, there is absolutely no chance whatsoever of you being able to manifest anything.

One of the things that perplexes people is the need for an explanation – and for example, the very statement that I made in the paragraph above (about requiring sufficient mental energy to manifest anything) is an example of why people want an explanation of this process.

And of course it’s quite understandable – viewed from the materialistic plane that we live on a day-to-day basis, manifestation and the Law of Attraction do seem to be esoteric principles.

To say that you can send out your desires into the universe by just propelling them with emotional fuel is a mysterious and somewhat inexplicable statement. Of course people want to know why emotional fuel – the energy of gratitude, for example – would be a propellant that drives our thoughts outwards into the universe in a way that can make them manifest in physical reality.

Yet at the same time there is an argument which is indeed sound, propagated I think for the first time by Wallace D Wattles in the early 20th century, which goes something like this: why would you even need to know how it works? In other words,  if you are aware that a process that you can follow has a certain outcome- why would you not want to just follow the steps and see the results for yourself?

I think that resolves around the issue of the human need for understanding, but this brings us to an interesting position: the manifestation of anything in life (be it weight loss, a better relationship, prosperity and abundance, a better sexual performance, renewal of friendships with your ex partners, or anything else) is in the end an act of faith. If you want to attract a pleasing relationship with a woman who loves you, then this might just be the way to do it.

And by definition, acts of faith do not require explanation – they are in fact something that you can take as a given because you know that if you do certain things with sufficiently strong belief and confidence in the outcome, the outcome that you desire will actually manifest.

It’s an extraordinary and rather beautiful equation whereby you can indeed get what you want, simply by applying a few simple straightforward steps.

So back to the question of why people fail to manifest anything. Why think for one thing that most people don’t know what they want. And even those who do not they want probably don’t have sufficient energy to sustain the belief that they need to drive their enthusiasm to the high levels of energy necessary for manifestation to be successful.

It’s why the power of prayer has been so intermittently successful for people over the years. I mean, we all know somebody – good heavens, you might even do it yourself – who, in times of trouble, resorts to prayer for their solutions.

Yet how rarely do prayers actually manifest an answer? I think if you cast your mind over any successful experience that you might  have had of praying for an outcome, you will always recognise that there is a common factor at work: complete  faith in the outcome.

It’s no coincidence that complete faith is one of the primary adjuncts to successful manifestation through the law of attraction – the others being desire, expectancy, and action. If you like to know more about this you can find out all the principles of manifestation, and get a really clear and simple explanation of how it all works from this website (which is all about manifestation).

better relationships

A Better Relationship

If you want to establish a better relationship, then it’s worthwhile investing in some of the techniques that can give you the information you might currently be lacking.

You see, establishing a better relationship isn’t just about knowing how to be a human being (you know that already!) – it’s about having specific skills of listening, communication, intimacy, interaction, empathy, non-verbal communication, and indeed a whole lot more.

These are the tools that allow people to get along together in a relationship satisfactorily – or even better than “satisfactorily”, perhaps allow people to get along in a relationship enjoying each other’s company and not judging each other or projecting stuff onto each other in a way that affects their intimate connection.

Now although that sounds like a challenge, and indeed, I’ve been accused of making relationships sound like hard work, my question to you is this: would you prefer to be alone for the rest of your life, or would you prefer to put in a certain amount of effort so you get into a relationship which is heartwarming and rewarding, and can fulfil all your personal and sexual needs?

I think when I put it like that the answer is obvious, isn’t it?

Yet most people never spend any time at all learning how to be in relationship in a way that can give them the deepest pleasure and satisfaction. Perhaps that’s because people are innately lazy, or perhaps it’s because people don’t actually know that they can learn how to be in relationship in a better way.

Whatever the cause of this, it’s worthwhile remarking on the fact that communication skills are not natural to the human being, because we are all brought up by parents who in their own turn were educated and brought up by people who didn’t have communication or empathy skills.

(I’ve heard it said that this is particularly true for the generations that went through a war – they came back from war traumatized and emotionally closed, thereby rendering the experience of their children as they were growing up similarly emotional closed and, perhaps in some ways, even emotionally deprived.)

Yet now we need is a generation of responsible citizens to break the cycle of abuse in denial and deprivation which has so affected the course of humanity throughout history….

And I know that because you’re looking at this website, which is titled “fear of being alone” you want something better for yourself than a standard relationship which is unsatisfactory and lacks genuine intimacy and communication.

Yet I also note the same time that you are probably the same as every human being I’ve ever met, which is to say, you don’t know how to establish a relationship of empathy and intimacy – and you basically need to be referred to some websites (or other sources of learning, of course) which can help you to understand what it is you don’t currently know about relationship – including your need to know to have a good one!

Well in my book, there’s no better way of preparing for a relationship than having a look at this website, which is indeed all about having a better relationship – on there you are going to see many techniques for intimacy and communication and establishing great connection.

Please don’t be misled by the fact that the website looks as though it’s built for people who want to know how to get their ex partner back after a breakup of relationship.

All of the information on that website is in fact highly relevant to anybody who is in relationship with another person or wants to be in relationship with another person.

You may be thinking at this stage that this is a rather mechanistic and perhaps slightly unromantic way of establishing good quality relationship.

My only response to that is to say that nothing in life that is worthwhile is gained by abdicating responsibility for making some effort to ensure that you get what you want, or that you are fully equipped to be able to do what you want within a relationship in the best possible way for all concerned.

So my other recommendation would be that you get some help with non-verbal communication, you get some help with intimacy and listening skills, and you then find a way of doing workshops with your partner which will help you to establish intimacy and mutual understanding without projecting your unresolved emotional issues onto each other.

Yes, perhaps this is unromantic, perhaps it is difficult, perhaps it’s even challenging – but as I said a moment ago, nothing in life that’s worthwhile is achieved without the investment of at least some time or energy.

And really, when you think about the rewards of friendship based on heart-to-heart connection, there’s no question that making the small amount of effort necessary to gain the skills you can use in relationship is highly worthwhile.

I might further add, that if you’re planning to have children, then you actually have a moral responsibility to find a way of being in relationship that is powerful and connected.

Children are invariably emotionally damaged by divorce, by break-up of relationship, or by abusive relationships, or even by relationships in which the expression of anger is unrestrained.

We as a human race have a lot of growing up to do, and you can be the person who starts to make a difference in your world, by learning the skills right here, right now.

All that is necessary for you to do is to make a commitment to change things, to change the way you’ve lived your life up to this point, and change the way in which you now relate to yourself, your family, your friends, your intimate partners and indeed the world, going forward from now on.

I do not want to put the burden of the guilt of all people who have gone before you, but what I do want to impress upon you that people who make a difference never understand fully the extent of the difference that they are making in the world.

By doing one small act of kindness a day, you can massively impact the quality of the world around you – and if you’re in a relationship, then one small act of kindness a day towards your partner can go a very long way to not only giving them a greater better experience life, but also make you a loving compassionate and intimately connected human being. (I also think that being fit and healthy is essential in having a great relationship. My own recommendation would be to enjoy a yoga class now and again.)

Fear of being alone

Fear Of Being Alone Due To OBESITY!

Noted author and spiritual development guru Teal Swan thinks that the cause of obesity is fear – specifically, the fear of humiliation and shame.

But the truth of the matter is that humiliation and shame are not always root causes of fear: underneath them something else often lies – perhaps the feeling of not being good enough, perhaps the feeling of actually being bad.

It’s experiences like this which can lead to the feeling of shame and of being humiliated, but in fact although there is often a deeper root cause than that portrayed by Teal Swan, she is still probably right about the fact that fat is actually acting as a barrier between ourselves and what we are afraid of.

Now, when you take this a stage further, the sad thing is that most people who are afraid of humiliation and shame are also fundamentally afraid of the people who shamed them – or, to put it more exactly, they’re frightened of people.

And this means that if somebody becomes obese so as to have a “shield” (of fat) between themselves and other people, the cure for obesity may not lie in a diet or slimming programme, but in healing the emotional wounds which caused the shame and humiliation to build up in the first place.

Of course this is a really radical view which will not find acceptance among most people, who would like to ascribe their obesity – or at least being “somewhat overweight” (a way I’ve heard many obese people describe their condition) to eating the wrong food, or carbohydrate sensitivity, or their parents overfeeding them as children, or… You name it, I’ve heard it.

But essentially what they won’t admit or can’t recognize is that the deep shame and fear of humiliation or of other people they feel (again, to remind you, because other people are always the cause of shame and humiliation).

This fear lies deep down inside, and one cause of it is that people who are obese were often raised in an environment that condemned selfishness. In other words by “selfless” parents….

And people who behave “selflessly” are often extremely selfish in respect of their children’s needs and desires. So children who are raised in this kind of environment will feel taken advantage of, and ashamed for feeling taken advantage of !

This is Teal Swan’s logic, and I can’t say I disagree with it. The end result is that any relationships are so painful, these people may deposit fat, completely unconsciously of course, as a boundary; and this prevents somebody from connecting with other people – as Teal rightly says, fat becomes a boundary.

And the reason people choose a physical boundary rather than emotional boundary is because people in such a family environment often find that it’s not acceptable to be cold or mean: in the family environment, “that’s not what we do around here”…

So in essence people who are obese often grow up in an environment where they struggle to recognize their own wishes and desires, and operate on the assumption that they will achieve love through being “nice” and taking responsibility for the struggles and burdens other people have in their lives.

Of course anyone with even a rudimentary knowledge of human nature knows that this is completely unrealistic, and you can never take responsibility for somebody else’s problems and solve all their difficulties.

The interesting thing about this emotional and physical dynamic is that people who only feel comfortable with giving and not receiving will not receive from others in their life – it’s a law of nature: if you only give, you never receive back.

What this means is that the fat not only acts as a shield or boundary from the shame and humiliation that other people might deposit upon them, but it also acts as a storehouse of energy which such obese people can use to protect themselves against the emotional demands and drains of other people.

Everyone is born with the potential to become a fully developed, fully spiritually realise person – but becoming fat, or obese, in response to your environment is a real reaction to emotional trauma that prevents such fulfillment of the personality.

Happily, as Teal rightly says, once somebody has obviated the need for a barrier between themselves in life, there is no longer a need for fat, and of course this is when people begin to actually successfully lose weight. They just happen to find the diet that works “for them”!

Now there may be other causes of obesity, indeed, I’m sure there are, but the point is that Teal is saying, quite rightly, obesity is a condition that originates in an emotional cause, not a physical cause.

I would say that at its essence obesity is an imbalance between a person’s existence and their right livelihood, or to be more exact, their right life.

So addressing the emotional problems and difficulties underlying obesity will allow people to lose weight. Until this happens, no matter how effective the diets they may try throughout their lives are, they will stay fat. Which means the real cure for obesity is in fact dealing with emotional issues that have led to the problems they now face.

If you’d like to read more about this, go and have a look at Teal’s blog, which is called “A Spiritual Catalyst” – she’s very good on these things, and she’s developed a unique style of expression which allows simple communication of complex issues.

sexual pleasure

Gain sexual skills and avoid being alone!

It may be a cliche, but one of things that really appeals to men is a woman who is sexually liberated in the bedroom – and whilst I don’t advocate the old saying about be a whore in the bedroom and Madonna outside it, the certainly something in this that women who are fully into their sexual energy can truly appreciate.

Being sexual in bed is gratifying not only for the sexual partner – because nothing turns a man on more than an excited and turned on woman – it is also gratifying for the woman because she can enter fully into her femininity and sexuality, and gain the maximum amount of pleasure that may be possible or achievable during every act of sexual liaison.

So although being alone by definition will probably mean being sexually isolated, it’s well worth making the effort to increase sexual skills as well as social skills when you’re making an effort to reintegrate into society and overcome anxiety about socializing.

Indeed, this is a two-way thing, because becoming sexually more confident can certainly increase your social confidence as well.

Becoming regularly orgasmic, and freely sexual are both growth experiences on every level for the majority of women – they speak of exploration of the soul, exploration of the personality and reaching into the depths of the femininity to draw out everything that is available, and everything that can make life more enjoyable.

Any good relationship between two people depends on good sex – intimacy alone is not enough, and sexuality alone is certainly not enough, but combined together these two attributes of the human relationship can transform the enjoyment and pleasure that people get from sex enormously.

Besides which, no matter how socially inhibited you may be, if you’re good in bed, you will always be popular with the boys!

Now, I’m not suggesting that this is a reason for women to become sexual in a way that goes against their basic values in nature, which will have principles and values which we must uphold to maintain a sense of integrity with ourselves.

What however I am suggesting is that it’s well worthwhile reaching into yourself and exploring to the maximum possible extent your sexuality and the pleasure that you can get from – well, from not just being orgasmic, but from every sexual technique that is available to you.

In this context, one of the more unusual sexual techniques which you might wish to explore is female ejaculation. Now if those words alone send a shudder through you, or sense of shame grips you, then you clearly have some inhibitions which you might need to explore and shed before you can fully enter into the joy and excitement of this extraordinary sexual technique. From the Telegraph:

The elusive G-spot does not exist, according to a new study.

So far, so typical. It seems we can’t go a few months without researchers offering a new opinion on the supposed holy grail of the female orgasm. One minute it exists, the next it doesn’t.

But, now it turns out, this isn’t the only think we might have to rethink.

According to researchers, the vaginal orgasm and clitoral orgasm don’t exist either.

This may come as a surprise to any woman who thought she had experienced an orgasm in this way. But a report published in the Journal of Clinical Anatomy explains that, actually, there’s only one type of orgasm a woman can have and that should just be known generally as the “female orgasm.”

The authors of the study explain that we have interpreted the female anatomy incorrectly. They say that the “internal/inner clitoris does not exist: the entire clitoris is an external organ.”

The “vaginal orgasm”, which some women report experiencing from penetrative sex, is “always caused by the surrounding erectile organs” – dubbed the “female penis.”

The study aims to help women understand the certainties of the female orgasm and clarifies whether the terms we use in everyday life have any scientific basis.

Now having said all of that, you may not believe the female ejaculation is a reality, but this fact of the matter is there is plenty of evidence to suggest that both marginal orgasm, G spot stimulation and female squirting are extremely real phenomena which can increase sexual pleasure for both men and women alike. so, in short,m if you want to know how to make a woman squirt, just go ahead and play with her G spot (with her consent, of course).

Laci Green

From The Independent

Yet the scientific community remains divided, some questioning the very existence of the G-spot while others the vast differences in the amount of fluid expressed by women. Some women report very little liquid (2-4mL) resembling watered-down milk, while others express far greater volume. This has led some researchers to maintain that squirting is actually an involuntary emission of urine, or hyper lubrication. A recent study published out of Le Chesnay, France conducted by Samuel Salama and his colleagues sought to lay these questions to rest by combining ultra-sound imaging with chemical analysis of higher volume female ejaculate.

The researchers recruited seven women who self-reported that they squirted the equivalent to a glass of water during orgasm, enough to noticeably wet the bed-sheets. The women provided a urine sample, and then underwent an ultrasound that confirmed that their bladders were indeed empty. The women then, either with the help of their partner or alone, began sexual stimulation and once sufficiently aroused underwent a second ultrasound. At this point, the women returned to the task at hand until they achieved orgasm and ejaculation. A sample of the ejaculate was collected and the final ultrasound performed.